I've been absent from blogging as I struggle with several issues in my life...it doesn't take much to push me into the "what-do-I-do-when-there-is-too-much-to-do" zone. I've kind of been stuck there since last fall. Nothing gets done as I am overwhelmed with a long list of things that I should do before there is no time left to do them. These things range from the emotional to the physical but they all share one thing...they force me to shut down. I worry about my father who lives about 8 hours away and is the only member of my "original" family that I have left now. I can't continue to take his health for granted and I don't want him to think that I don't care because I am not with him more often. I worry about my husband who works too hard and doesn't get as much rest as he needs. I worry about our son whose journey has so many roadblocks and hazards because of his Asperger's and other related health issues. I worry about our daughter who is away at college and is sometimes so stressed and overwhelmed that she calls me in tears. I worry about our beloved pug, Ginger, whose time on earth is coming to an end as she slowly becomes paralyzed. I worry about myself and all the health issues I face because I am not taking care of myself. I worry about my extended family and friends and how this world is changing so rapidly and becoming so dangerous. It seems there is so much for me to worry about and that I am limited to some extent in what I can do to change things.
I don't know how I got stuck so hard in this place...it just seems like one thing came upon me after another so fast that I couldn't process and act in response. It's an excuse...I know that...I guess I'm good at excuses. But, I am going to change that....I am, really. This week I attended an informational meeting for a project that gives me much hope and I am inspired by the dedication of the individuals involved in starting up this complex but desperately needed project. If these people can do this with all the "I"s to dot and "T"s to cross, then I can overcome what I face and help them.
So...I am going to try to get myself motivated in these next weeks. It will be hard, I know, because the easiest thing to do is to keep doing nothing. I will find a way to let my dad know that I love him and he is important to me even though I can't always be with him when I want to be there. I will find a way to reduce the stress for my husband so that he can rest and recharge. I will find a way to help our son negotiate a world that doesn't always understand why different is good. I will find a way to help our daughter enjoy this interlude in her life. I will find a way to love Ginger with all the love I have to give her so that her last days are good to make up for the bad days before she came into our family life. I will still worry about my extended family and friends but I will remember that they know I am praying for them. I will try to help to create a safety net in this crazy and dangerous world. And by doing these things, I will be helping myself.
If you are interested in helping me change, a good place to start is with the project that has motivated me to change....go to Touchdown Communities.com or go their Facebook Page for more information. What is starting as a local initiative will go national and international as people begin to share the vision....I can't wait to see what's going to happen!
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