Stepping off that Judgement Train

I recently had an "encounter" with someone that I once sort of knew in another time of my life and it has led me to some serious thinking about judging people.  This person, who shall remain nameless, has very liberal views and is very adamant about her views.  This is all well and good except that she chose to "attack" me on my views which tend to be conservative.  It really doesn't matter to me how anyone feels about a great number of issues...everyone has had a different life experience and that will shape his/her opinion.  For the life of me, I just don't get why it is okay to "attack" someone for having a different viewpoint.  Yes, I am conservative in my views most of the time...I don't believe I am "led" by journalists since I don't really watch television, listen to the radio, or read news magazines.  I am conservative in my views because I was raised in a conservative household.  I married a conservative man who proudly served in the United States Air Force for 20 years and now works for the Veteran's Administration providing the exact same health care that he provided while on active duty.  I am a Catholic  convert (when I was almost 30 years old), but I don't agree with everything the Catholic Church advocates.  There are things that I wouldn't do in my personal life that I believe is the right of others to choose to do in their personal lives.  I truly try to live my life without judging or lecturing others about what is "fair/unfair", "right/wrong", etc.  Everyone, even liberals, can be misled by the powers that be...it isn't just those of us who are conservative in our decisions that can be manipulated.  


So, please don't judge me for my rather conservative opinions and I will not judge you for your more liberal opinions.  Let's focus on making positive choices for ourselves and leave the negativity at the side of the road.  

Keeping promises to myself

I don't know why it is so difficult for me to keep the promises that I make to myself when I so easily keep promises I make to others.  I guess I assume that I'm not as important as other people but if I don't keep the promises I set for myself, then who will keep them?  During the Daniel Fast, it is suggested that you have a goal that you pray about during the 21 days.  I have a lot of things I could have chosen to work on, but I chose to work on making and maintaining friendships.  On the surface, deactivating my Facebook account for the summer would appear to be working against my goal.  I found, though, that I was more interested in what was happening online rather than in my little world.  Several people have reached out to me to see where I have disappeared and why and I truly appreciate their kindness...I was pretty sure that no one would miss me so it is nice to be wrong in this case.  


I have a friend that I saw once in a while and we'd say hello but we didn't have an opportunity to really touch base.  She's a busy woman and while I'm not as busy, I have neglected this friendship.  We were able to get together for coffee this past week and I came away from our hour together feeling happy that we had a chance to re-connect.  She spends time with my young adults in a work environment but I have missed the chitchat times we had when she lived next door.  It's been lonely in the neighborhood without her family sharing a property line!  When we first moved into our house, we loved the family who lived next door and we were sad and apprehensive when they decided to move to Delaware.  God had a plan, though, and we are so thankful that Libby and her family moved in next door!  The boys brought such happiness to us with their enthusiasm and curiosity!  When Ellie came along, it was such a joy to hold a baby girl again!  Libby has helped us navigate the challenges that Patrick has faced and continues to face with his Asperger's Syndrome and anxiety.  She has been a role model for Liz in her choice of study and career as well as just a really nice person to chat with "over the fence".  We were sad when they moved to the other side of the subdivision even though we knew they needed a bigger house with a growing family. It was especially hard when Madeline came along and we weren't next door to help out. They have given us so much by allowing us to be a part of their "family" and it means a lot to be able to honestly chat with someone who "gets" it.




So, I have kept that goal and I am going to continue to reach out and strengthen bonds that I have allowed to go slack.  When you live far from family, friends are so important to a happy, healthy life!  I only hope that we give back as much as we get!


Liz had her four impacted wisdom teeth pulled last Tuesday and with the heat wave and her pain, she had a rough week.  She is finally back to her old self again and the money that we invested in orthodontia has been protected!  


I have really been pushing myself to get things out of the old house so we can get it on the market asap.  So much "stuff"!  Right now I am just shoving it in boxes and hoping that I'll be able to find what I really need before I need it!  Things are progressing and I'm seeing more boxes labelled and stacked and less "stuff" scattered around the house.  I don't even know what we have anymore!  


I am trying to be mindful of what I eat...I had a bad day when I overindulged and boy did I pay the price!  Funny thing is....what I ate was a normal "pre-fast" meal.  I am trying to stay vegan as much as possible with the occasional meat meal and I have to have half and half with my coffee...but I'm trying and that is what matters.

The Daniel Fast--the Final Days

I did it!  I finished the 21 days without giving up or "cheating"!  I don't have a good track record with diet restrictions, so I was not sure that I was going to be successful this time.  I believe that the emphasis on the spiritual part of my life helped me with the physical part of the fast.  I stayed positive, I drank the gallon of water daily, and I really didn't have any serious cravings until the end was in sight.  The last two days were especially hard because I was really craving bread, meat, and coffee.  But, I did it with the help of God and my family!  Today I had my first cup of coffee in almost a month and instead of gulping it down as usual, I savored it.  Liz and I went to see "Magic Mike" and got frozen yogurt to celebrate.  I did feel light-headed for about 45 minutes or so after all that sugar, but I had a smaller serving than I would have gotten last month and I enjoyed every mouthful.  Tonight Liz is making Chicken Parmesan for dinner...I think she will continue to practice making dinner throughout the summer.  My mom never really let us help in the kitchen so I was really unprepared when I was out on my own.  Liz will be able to follow a recipe and eventually come up with her own recipes!  Good for her and good for me!  Speaking of Liz, she is getting all four of her impacted wisdom teeth removed tomorrow morning, so please say a prayer if you get a chance.  She is going to be sore and swollen for a few days but I am hopeful that she does okay.  She is like her father when it comes to these sort of things...she doesn't handle any sort of procedure or anesthesia well.  Thankfully, Patrick is like me when it comes to that sort of thing...we wake up feeling well-rested and hungry...lol


As for Facebook, it has been hard to be without it, but I am adjusting.  I don't want to become obsessed with it and a break through the summer will not only force me to do the things I keep putting off.

No more Facebook

In case anyone noticed (which I doubt), I have deactivated my Facebook account for the time being.  Maybe I'll start it up again in the fall when Liz goes back to school...maybe not.  As I've said in previous posts, I am trying to get rid of as much negativity in my life as possible.  I find that Facebook is a source of much negativity lately.  I have an addictive personality and checking my page countless times a day is really counterproductive for me.  If anyone really wants to get in touch with me, this blog is an option as well as my email which is cosmicmomma@yahoo.com.  

Daniel Fast--Day 16

Wow!  I've made it to the sixteenth day!  The time really has gone by quickly and I have only had a couple of times when I actually felt hungry enough to binge....but, I didn't!  Big progress for me!  I am seeing the weight loss, too...amazing!  The thing that makes this work for me when other fasts have failed is the prayer aspect.  If I feel I am slipping, I say a rosary or read a devotional message.  I really think that if I am vigilant, I can continue this new way of eating indefinitely.  I am going to allow myself some days of regular food...just not in the portion size that I used to be comfortable with...smaller portions, healthier foods...who is this person that I am becoming???  Liz has already planned our "big" day next week...my first day of "regular" food...lol  My family has been very supportive, especially my Liz.  I am so thankful for my family and the words of support that I've received from others...it means a lot to me.  The rest of this fast is really just me using up the food that has been leftover from the first two weeks.  If I run out, I have some brown rice, beans, tomatoes, and berries...so no obsessing and no big "cooking" day this week...time to enjoy the feeling of finally being in control of this part of my life!  I know I will have slips, but I am not going to beat myself up over them...I will just start fresh the next meal and go forward.  No more looking back and feeling bad...only forward and positive thinking as much as possible!

Daniel Fast--The First Week

Well, it is now Day 10 of this fast that I've begun...it has actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be!  I had a headache on days two and three but it wasn't as bad as some headaches I get and I was a little tired the first few days, but I feel like I have bounced back.  The digestive issues that I was worried about didn't bother me, in fact, the opposite has happened!  I had stopped eating raw vegetables several years ago except for an occasional salad when I knew I was going to be home for a few days.  The cramping and bloating I anticipated never happened!  My GERD is nowhere to be found and the other issues have disappeared as well.  This makes me wonder if I may have an allergy or sensitivity to any of the many additives and preservatives found in our food today.  I have had a few cravings, but nothing that a banana  with a drizzle of organic and sugarless peanut butter can't cure.  Liz even made brownies and I was not tempted in the least!  Speaking of Liz, she has stepped up and started making dinner for the family....bless her heart!  She wants to learn how to cook "real" food so John and I have been showing her the ropes.  She even made homemade chicken tenders for dinner the other night!


Mentally, I feel different...I don't really know how to explain it other than to say that I feel "lighter" somehow.  I am slower to anger, less agitated than normal, and I feel more in control of myself.  Maybe it is psychological or maybe it is that I'm taking time during the day to say the rosary and read positive affirmations.  Whatever it is, it is good so I am going to keep on doing it.


I don't feel that I've lost a significant amount of weight, but I didn't weigh myself at the start and I don't have a scale to weigh myself now.  I am more concerned that my cholesterol is going down since it was over 300 and I can't take the medications for it.  I don't ache as much....I still ache, but it is not as crippling as it was before this first week.  So, all in all, I think that this fast has been a positive step for me.  I am even considering staying on this modified vegan/vegetarian diet during the week for the near future.  I do miss my dairy--cheese, yogurt, etc.--so I am going to allow myself a little bit on the weekends as well as some meat...chicken mostly and eggs.  Two more weeks to go!


I must be eating less than other people because I still have food left over from the first week.  Here it is Wednesday and I am just now working on food for this week and it's half over!  I am making a double batch of vegetable soup since the kids thought it looked and smelled delicious last week, paella because I really loved it, Garden Bean Salad, Tofu and Veggie Scramble, and the Daniel Fast Shepherd's Pie.  Liz and I went to Trader Joe's last Saturday and I bought some things to supplement what I cook...veggie patties, bean and vegetable burritos, and hummus.  How have I missed hummus all these years?  Trader Joe's is a great place to find things without additives and preservatives and the prices are reasonable.  Everything is labelled so that you can tell pretty much at a glance what is in something.  I love that place!


Week Two will be a continuation of the new habits I have picked up and a little more playing with different foods.  I hated tofu when I tried it in the late '70's and the kids have assured me that it is better now, so that is my newest adventure...pretty boring that trying tofu is an adventure for me, but I try to make all of life an adventure!

Daniel Fast--Day Two

This second day of the fast has already brought challenges...I'm not surprised as I expected obstacles...no journey is without them.  I have had a headache since late last night...caffeine withdrawal plus a weather front moving in....sigh  It also doesn't help that Ginger (pug princess) sat on my glasses and they are crooked...lol  The readings for today included "Sanctified by Truth" and "School Days".  The first reading was about setting the purpose of this fast and fulfilling that promise...to honor the place God has given His chosen people.  What do I need to change in my daily life so that I am doing what He wills with my life here.  Quite honestly, I need to change a lot of things and I hope that I will but I know that without daily prayer and meditation, it is easy to lose my way.  So, this fast is to help me focus on what I can change so that I am a better person.  The second reading likened life to school....each day has a lesson to be learned and if it is not learned that day, then it repeats again and again until you are ready to move onto the next lesson.  Some days I can clearly see the obstacles in my path and other days....well, it's obvious I didn't learn the lesson.  I keep at it, though, and hope that one day I will be a person who, while not perfect, is better than I am now.  I had oatmeal with apples and spices for breakfast which was delicious....but I have always loved oatmeal...lolol  Lunch was a rosary....the prayers are coming back to me...and veggie soup.  The soup was very satisfying and quite tasty...this is one I will make again and share with the family.  I had a yummy pear as a snack...it has been quite some time since I enjoyed a pear!  Dinner was a stuffed pepper which was okay....I will make this again, but I think I will chop up the pepper instead of stuffing it...I didn't like it as much as my regular way of making stuffed peppers, but it was nutritious and filling.

So much to think about today....changes are hard to make and maintain but I am hopeful that this fast will give me the confidence to make at least some changes toward a healthier, happier, and more spiritual life...........